#3: Chaos In The Middle East Part 3

VNN Special Report #3:

Chaos In The Middle East part 3

We interrupt the Dances With Fish to bring you this special report

“Hello. I am Erik Von Luthor, and this is a Villain News Network Special Report.”

“Earlier today, the Super Villains who were lucky enough to receive special permits launched their attacks in the Middle East. Unfortunately for all of them, the Justice Brigade was waiting. Utilizing a teleportation device developed by Sargent Tech, the Justice Brigade was able to quickly move from country to country, defeating each of the villains.”

“Only Dr Devlix, who was attempting to take over Egypt, managed to last more the a few minutes, thanks primarily to Mechs he borrowed from Dr Killaton. Despite their best attempts, the Justice Brigade could not stop the combined might of the Mechs and Devlix's Ninja Monkeys. It looked like Corporal Crosshairs may have shot Devlix at one point, but it was later learned that he merely shot Devlix's new Windows Phone 7.”

“Devlix reached the center of Cairo but was stopped when Captain Super Guy arrived, destroying the Mechs and defeating all the Ninja Monkeys. Devlix fired a ray gun at a nearby and strategically placed weapons depot, causing an explosion. Captain Super Guy went to save mannequins disguised as people in a near by building, giving Devlix a chance to escape.”

“While Devlix hasn't been seen since then, it is believed that he has survived and will resurface eventually. Meanwhile, Corporal Crosshairs has been criticized by the entire world for destroying a piece of cool tech and has been ordered by General Justice to replace the Windows Phone 7 should Dr Devlix resurface.”

“In other news, the Justice Brigade is celebrating a new personal best. While the final numbers are not yet in, it is believed that they stopped the Villains while only causing 1000 civilian casualties. If this is accurate, it will be the lowest body count for a level 5 Super Hero Battle ever!”

“There are still several Super Villains that have yet to use their permits, but once they do, we will let you know the outcome. Until then, I am Erik Von Luthor. Good Night”

We now return to the Dances With Fish already in progress.

#2: Chaos In The Middle East Part 2

VNN Special Report #2:

Chaos In The Middle East part 2

We interrupt the documentary The Life Of Algae to bring you this special report

“Hello. I am Erik Von Luthor, and this is a Villain News Network Special Report.”

“The United Nations World Domination committee announced moments ago their plan for how to handle the issue of special permits that would allow Super Villains to take any form of action in the Middle East as a result of the recent chaos. Committee spokesman Jacob Jaberflast said that each of the major Super Villain unions would receive one permit, and it would be their responsibility to give them to anyone they felt should have one. The only requirements were that the person chosen had to be ready to take over the country they were assigned with in 24 hours of receiving their permit or the government of the country collapsing.”

“What country each union has been giving is currently unknown. The news caused uproar from the Independent Super Villain community”

“This is a bunch of bull sh!t! Why do those f#ckers get to take over countries and we can't? Because we aren't part of a f#cking union? That's a bunch of f#cking Bull sh!t! The World Domination Committee is nothing but a bunch of f#cking @$$holes!”

“The Verbal Offender's reaction, while more colorful then most, is matched by many in the Independent Super Villain community. Will this cause more to join the various unions? 'Yes' says an expert that asked to remain anonymous but looks and sounds a lot like Steve Jobs.”

“The reaction from the Superhero community was much more reserved. Justice Brigade Chairman General Justice had this to say.”

“We have no comment at this time.”

“With the names of the permit recipients to be released by noon eastern time, we will soon learn who will be rising to power in the Middle East. Until then, I am Erik Von Luthor. Good Night”

We now return to the documentary The Life Of Algae already in progress.

#1: Chaos In The Middle East Part 1

VNN Special Report #1:

Chaos In The Middle East part 1

We interrupt Cooking With Irma to bring you this special report

“Hello. I am Erik Von Luthor, and this is a Villain News Network Special Report.”

“Since the riots in Egypt started on January 25, Chaos has consumed the Middle East as other countries have followed in the footsteps of the Egyptian people. Equally chaotic has been the reaction of the Super Villain community. Since Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak stepped down this past Friday, Super Villains from around the world have been submitting applications to the World Domination Permits department of the United Nations, all attempting to gain a foothold and fill the power vacuum in the Middle East. “

“A representative of the World Domination committee said that the recent events in the Middle East has presented the Super Villain community with a unique opportunity, so it was decided to allow people to apply for a special permit. Unfortunately they failed to anticipate the demand for the special permits, and as a result the Permits Department has been flooded with people, both registered Super Villains and Civilians hoping to break into the Super Villain game. One Super Villain, Professor Peril, was reported as having said that he hasn't seen a room that crowded since the time his Cloning Vats accidentally released all the clones at the same time.”

“We now go live to the World Domination Permits Department in New York City, where Ramsay Gorden is standing by. Ramsay, how are things there.”

“Um, pretty calm actually. I'm surprised we're reporting on it.”

“Ramsay, are you in the World Domination Permit Department in the United Nations Building in New York City?”

“Of course I am. Where else would I be?”

“Um, maybe a mall in Toledo, Ohio?”

“What would make you think that?”

“Maybe the big sign over your head that said 'Welcome to the biggest mall in Toledo, Ohio?'”

“............I might be there.”

“So why are we talking to you?”

“I'm not really sure.”

“Now I know why you were fired by BBC America.”

“You do? Because I'm still trying to figure it out.”

“Sigh. You're an idiot Ramsay. As for the situation in the World Domination Permit Department, we will keep you updated on it as it develops and will break into programing if there is anything to report. Until then, I am Erik Von Luthor. Good night.”

We now return to Cooking With Irma, already in progress.