#4: Chaos In The Middle East Part 4

VNN Special Report #4:

Chaos In The Middle East part 4

We interrupt The Deaf People's Opera to bring you this special report

“Hello. I am Erik Von Luthor, and this is a Villain News Network Special Report.”

“Late last night, the last of the Super Villains who received special permits to take over part of the Middle East surrendered. The Villainous Oven Mitt, when he realized he had received a permit to take over Libya, returned the permit and said he would not be using it.”

“'I have to take Muammar Gaddafi? That guy is as evil as Dr Phil! I don't want to face him! I would rather get my face smashed by Spatula Man again then invade Libya!”

“The Villainous Oven Mitt was of course only partially correct. Muammar Gaddafi is only almost as evil as Dr Phil. Dr Phil is, of course, the most evil man to ever live. Compared to him Hitler is as harmless as a Catholic priest.”

“Upon hearing that he had been compared to a Catholic priest, Mecha Hitler issued the following statement.”

“Hey, don't compare me to a Catholic Priest! That's just mean. Sure I tried to kill off entire races, cultures and people groups. Sure I tried to take over the planet. Sure I may have caused the death of millions. But at least I never did any of the stuff they or the Vatican have ever been accused of. And at least I am willing to admit to it all and not cover it all up.”

“This of course was considered by the Vatican as an insult. The Pope issued the following statement.”

“There is no validity of the rumors that we cover up a bunch of stuff that we have done over the years, because we haven't done any of it. So there is no reason to cover it up. The Bible says to turn the other cheek, and that is what we will do in regards to these allegations you tin plated sorry excuse for an evil dictator's brain inside a robots body. Besides, at least we are better then the government in Wisconsin.”

“After hearing this, a representative from Wisconsin had this to say.”

“Well, he's got us there.”

“After hearing all these things that could be considered offensive to some possibly overly sensitive people, our lawyers asked us to issue the following statement. And have it run across the bottom of the screen or before this goes on the air as a disclaimer.”

“The issues of the people expressed in this special report are not those of the program or the Villain News Network. Except for those said about Wisconsin. Those are totally true. GO VIKINGS! Also, lawyers suck. Wait. I'm not saying that. Teleprompter guy, stop typing. Why are you pointing a gun at me? Fine. I'll read the statement you have prepared. 'I, the network's lawyer, am a stupid poopy head.' can I read what I came here to read now? We're out of room and time? Awe crap.”

“We aren't completely sure what was meant by most of that. But it has a lot of good points. Go Vikings.”

“and with that, this line of questions, comments, and rebuttals came to an end, but if anyone starts it up again some how, we will be back with all the details. Until then, I am Erik Von Luthor. Good Night”

We now return to The Deaf People's Opera already in progress.